No More
Kiwifruit
‘There are no
kiwifruit today’
Belinda the nurse informs me
handing me my breakfast tray,
‘You have an
apple instead, okay?’
I nod, mentally noting how much bigger
The apple is than my usual kiwifruit,
Then giving my head a little shake
To disrupt my thoughts
Before I begin calculating calories.
I remember an orange in the kitchen
And deciding this would be better than an apple
I quickly go to fetch it.
Settling down at the table with the other girls
I advise the nurse having breakfast with us
(just my luck, it’s ‘Nazi nurse’)
About my swap.
Of course,
It’s an issue.
‘Would you
like to ring the bell
to discuss
this with Belinda’
It’s a statement,
Not a question.
I hesitate, then look her in the eye.
‘No. Not
really. I’d just like to eat the
orange’.
‘Ring the call
bell’
‘I’d rather not.
It’s not an issue’
Nazi nurse is about to blow her top,
So having made my point at least,
I gracefully give in
And ring the bell.
Belinda appears shortly.
I explain the swap, she nods,
I sit down at the table
And take a deep breath.
Let it go
I tell myself firmly.
‘Is your friend
still coming to visit today?’
Mel asks me, with a sympathetic smile.
Gratefully, I start talking about my friend Jo,
“I think so,
she seems to have recovered
From her
vomiting bug”
At this, Nazi nurse splutters into her cornflakes,
‘That
completely inappropriate for the table!’
She scolds me like a two year old.
‘We often
discuss these sorts of things’
I shoot back, not missing a beat.
‘Well you need to bear in mind that not
everyone
Has such a
strong stomach as you’
She glares at me long and hard
Before returning to her cereal.
‘Of course,
the last I heard
She did have
severe diarrhoea’
I say innocently, watching her face
Out of the corner of my eye.
Her reaction is well worth the next telling-off,
Following which,
The table settles into an awkward silence.
As I dice my orange into pieces
To go on my cereal
I decide a change of topic is needed
And wonder aloud,
‘What season
is kiwifruit season?’
Opps, wrong thing to say.
A lively discussion ensues
About the seasons
Of various types of fruit;
I seem to be the only one who notices
Nazi nurse quietly seething
At the head of the table.
Unsurprisingly, once she gains composure
She sharply brings our conversation
To an abrupt end;
‘I’ll remind
you girls of the rule –
no food-talk
at the table’.
We eat the rest of our breakfast
In complete silence
And I bite my lip,
Resisting the urge
To utter another word.
