Change
Life is ever-changing
Never stagnant
Time does not stand still.
The clock keeps ticking
The sun rises and sets
The seasons come and go,
No two days
Are ever the same.
Why then do I need
To put fullstops in places
They do not belong?
In some ways it makes sense –
An attempt to find some steadiness
An unmoving foundation
An anchor
Amidst the constant motion.
Every day
For a year now
I have eaten
Exactly the same foods
In precisely measured amounts
At exact times;
Every day without fail
I have stuck to strict rules
Tasks I must complete
In a certain order
A specific way;
My mind constantly calculating
Timing, scheduling,
Always on edge;
Alert
Terrified of missing
Or forgetting something.
What is it that I fear
Would happen?
Would the world
Come crumbling down?
When I take a step back
Gaining a rare glimpse
Of objective perspective
It
seems un-natural
For me to dig my heels
Into the sand
In this way,
To create the false illusion
Of an unchanging world
In my head,
When the outside world
- reality -
Lives and breathes
Thrives and transforms
Fluctuates and renews
With the throbbing pulse
Of life?
How do I let go,
How do I let myself
Be swept along
Twisting and turning
Up down and around
In this terrifying
Wonderful
Glorious rhythm
Of reality?
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