A Blank Canvas

A Blank Canvas

Today I put on my earrings

Some mascara

And a dab of perfume

For the first time

In I don’t know how long.

I tried on my old running shorts,

Played with different hairstyles,

Looked up summer dresses online;

I looked in the mirror

And realized

My face doesn’t look

So gaunt anymore

There is a slight rosiness

In my cheeks,

I look a little more

Like the ‘old’ me;

My arms are not quite so ‘twiggy’

My collarbone doesn’t jut out

The way it used to.

I’m changing,

Not just in my mind

But in my body too

And although it feels frightening

It feels good.

I started to think

This is my opportunity

For newness;

Yes,

I have to change my thought patterns

Rewire my brain

But what a good chance

To shrug off

Any other things

That I don’t want to be

A part of ‘me’ anymore.

What a perfect opportunity

To experiment

To play with redesigning

To cast out old ways of living,

Behaving, being, dressing,

Interacting …

Along with my thoughts

To leave space

A blank canvas

Ready for fresh paint.