Below the Benchmark

Below the Benchmark

This little voice

Called anorexia

Has persistently niggled at me

All along

Promising

That if I can just get under 40kg

It'll finally be satisfied

Will finally back-off;

And I'll truly be able to call myself

A successful anorexic

(Even if the rest of my life

Has crumbled to pieces).

Yesterday morning

To my surprise

Shock

And sick secret pleasure

I did just that.

The numbers on the scales

Read 39.8kg.

My gut twisted in fear

While anorexia did a victory dance.

But of course

I was kidding myself

Instead of being satisfied

Anorexia was ignited

With a new flame,

A new drive,

A drive greater than I

Ever dreamed of.

This 'achievement'

Was suddenly not enough,

It simply turned into

A new challenge.