Honestly
If I’m totally honest
I had this fantasy
Of the judge taking me off the Act today
And of leaving tomorrow
Going back to Paula’s
Back to how things were
Losing the small amount of weight I’ve gained
And continuing to lose
More and more
Until I was no longer fighting
Just living ruled by anorexia
In a kind of torturous peace
Until one morning
I just didn’t wake up.
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