Panic Attack

Electric Fence

If I ever believed

That the mind and body

Were not interconnected

I was wrong.

I hang up the phone

It's the final straw;

As if opening my eyes

To another day

And the truth of my reality

Wasn't bad enough.

I want to be sick

My stomach

Is tied up in knots

Twisting and writhing

As if filled with

Coiled up serpents.

My head feels like a balloon

Someone has blown up so much

That any second it will explode.

My muscles so tight

That my whole body aches

Neck shoulders jaw

Back arms toes.

My spine is rigid

Poker rod straight

Fists clenched into tight balls;

My breath comes out

In short sharp little gasps

Like a goldfish.

Physically I can see

But I am blinded

I can hear

But am deaf to the sounds.

I can feel

Everything

Like I’m an electric fence

Prickling and sparking

With a high voltage

Running through my center.

I am still me,

But I'm not.

Or am I?

I don't know anymore.

But I do know

That right now

Being trapped in this body

This mind

This moment

Is terrifying.